Everybody has different fears. But there is a common one of staying lonely. For some being lonely for 5 minutes is a terrible punishment, for others it is a great pleasure. But what about staying lonely forever? It is fatal for both kinds of people. In order not to be lonely you need to be an interesting person to deal with. Some people find it easy to start talking to a stranger, but there are very shy people who cannot keep in touch with a friend. In case you are the second type, here are some useful tips which will definitely help you to become interesting in communication with people.
Study and Analyze
Everyone on the Earth is selfish. Yes, it is true, there are only people who do not want to confess. In a nutshell, you should speak about your opponent. Make compliments; show that their life is interesting for you. Mention that you are inspired by this person, share their interests, hobbies and so on.
It would be pleasant for your interlocutor, as everybody likes compliments and praises. Speak only on topics which are interesting for the person you communicate with. It is valuable if you can think like an opponent. That way you can find a lot of friends because everybody wants to be appreciated for their character, speaking manner and interests. However, be careful: do not make your words turn into flatteries. A person may suspect something wrong and try to avoid speaking with you.
Statistic says that nobody is interested in someone else for more than 2 minutes. So seldom use a word “me”, always use the name of the opponent. Do not forget that if you want to be interesting, learn to listen to a person carefully and patiently. You also must have a correct view angle. Always look at your opponent. Do not stare. It has to be a friendly look. It is the “golden” rule of every influent person in the world, as eyes are the door to the soul. Make a sincere smile and people will be eager to get acquainted with you!
Before speaking to strangers, try to develop your speaking skills. Imagine that the reflection in the mirror is your interlocutor. Then talk on interesting topics, smile and check the way you look at the person. All actors are speaking to their reflection for hours to look decent on the stage. The same goes with singers.
Develop your expression of emotions. The opponent will be happy to see sincere emotions on your face. Be attentive and strict to your language culture. Some people think that they can neglect this point. It is obvious that this type of people is often lonely. Language culture is the key to the brain. Others see that you are a serious person. That way you become an example they want to follow. That is the next step to the knowledge of being interesting.
Participate in a Conversation
There is a secret which is called “have three good stories”. It is helpful when a silent awkward moment in a conversation is inevitable. Always have a story about a funny neighbor or foolish friend’s parrot which can defuse a tense situation.
You are not defending your thesis. Speak as usual. You do not need all these hardly pronounced words which can be unknown for the stranger. That way they are going to be lost and disappointed, as they understand that there is something they have never heard before. Even if they have three diplomas, they will be bored. If you want to show that you are clever and know these words, your interlocutor will definitely understand this even without saying. Do not try to create a status in the society in this wrong way.
Read a Lot
To speak on interesting topics, you need to know a lot. It is precious when a person can look diligently during a conversation, especially a highly intelligent one. So, you have to read a lot of fiction books, sensational news in the newspapers to be up-to-date, even scientific articles. The person you are talking to can check if you are really interested in the discussion and if you like the discussed topic. That way you must have deep knowledge of the discussed subject.
A musician likes talking about different types of music, so you should have you own opinion about every genre of music art. A painter will probably be interested in discussing modern installations or unusual color combinations. You see, being interesting means being intelligent. Everyone can become an intelligent person, even if they do not like reading or cannot stand painting. If you want to have a lot of friends, develop yourself, make the right choice between being lonely and interesting.
If your conversation is full of silence, ask about something usual. For example, ask a question about the person’s attitude to pets, talk about your cat even if you do not have one, ask about a job, favorite magazine, dream job if an interlocutor is not satisfied with the current one and so on. But do not forget to take into consideration the place, time, mood of a person. If you are at a birthday party, do not chat about the party host. Anyway, this kind of chatting will not add you others’ recognition and respect.
If you feel that the conversation is moving toward the impasse, develop a new topic with the help of the previous one. For example, if an interlocutor mentioned that they have been working on the same job for 10 years, ask if it is challenging to work during such a lot period of time. That way you will never have awkward moments in a conversation.
Do not interrupt. Even if you have your own opinion on the topic the opponent is talking about, be patient and wait till the end of their thought. An interlocutor has to feel that their words are interesting and valuable to you. Besides, you do not want to talk to a person who always tries to show their own point of view, especially when it is opposite to your thoughts.
Now, when you know all these tips, it is logical to forget about your shyness, go outside and try to get acquainted with somebody or to take a book and start reading. Sooner or later you will become a brilliant speaker with a dozen of reliable friends.
Hopefully, this article was a source of motivation and inspiration for you. Smile and remember the wise words: “Treat people like you want to be treated”.